Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Birthday. Again.


Now that I'm older, let me impart some of my hard-earned wisdom:

First:

Parenthood has not turned Chris or Sara into nicer people.  Thank you for my birthday Motley Crue drinking cups.

For anyone who needs explanation:

1.  I hate Motley Crue.  Like, really HATE.

2.  Since the cups were a gift, I'd feel bad about throwing them away, so I won't.

3.  The plastic they're made of is likely indestructible, so I'll have them forever.

4.  Every time I open my cupboard, from now until the time of my death, I will see them and experience a few seconds of rage.

I've been using one of them today, incidentally, and feel both angry and dirty, sort of like I'm being molested.

Fuck you guys.

Second:

Drinking shots is rarely a good idea, even if it is your birthday.  I owe someone a punch in the face.



Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Cool Dads

Being a parent doesn't necessarily mean you're uncool forever.  I saw a dad at the train station the other morning.  Wearing a T-shirt that read "I Listen to Slayer", and explaining to his young son that he would not be buying a Cinnabon because it was bad food that might lead to a heart-attack.

Not that I necessarily think that Slayer = Cool, but thanks for showing me that parenthood doesn't have to change who you are.  At my age, that's kind of a turn-on.  Rock on.