Monday, November 21, 2011

happy birthday to me

Officially a year older.  Have had a few days to digest it.  And am thankfully no longer quite so down about the inevitable decline.  Felt pretty good about myself a couple of times over birthday weekend, actually, as I was carded more than once when going to buy alcohol.  I know that they were probably only enforcing the ID anyone who looks under 30 rule, but I'll take it.

When asked whether I felt any wiser, it was determined that I was most certainly not, though perhaps have become more of a wise-ass, and I'll take that, too.

Though it may be time for some pre-emptive botox.  Some people assume that I'm joking when I say this.  Clearly, they just don't understand the anti-aging process.


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Quote of the Day

Walking on Queen Street this evening, I passed by a group of people just in time to hear someone exclaim, "Why would I eat that?  You can't get drunk on a sandwich!"

Awesome.

Anyway, in spite of the tone of my last post, I am not actually giving up the blog yet.  I am committed to lasting through to the anniversary of the conception.  And then we'll see.  Maybe I'll come up with a different theme and start something new.  Such as a gradual accumulation of felines and an equally gradual but inevitable descent into crazy-cat-ladydom.  Or maybe not.  So there.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Cutting Teeth

The baby update of the day (or of the last few weeks, I should say) is that Molly has started teething at a freakishly young age.  Given that most women sensibly stop breast feeding their children when they get teeth*, my days of drinking for two, or for one and a half, are drawing to a close.  I was going to wrap things up on the anniversary of the conception, anyway.

Besides, since Sara has started a blog of her own to track her adventures as a new mother of twins, I have started to guiltily feel that I'm stealing her material when I write about her life/offspring.

Which leaves me only with my own life to entertain you with.  Which is a sad state of affairs indeed, since I seem to be suffering both from writer's block and from a 1/3 of life crisis.  Impending birthday aside, surely I am too young to be suffering from a mid-life crisis.  Though definitely too old for the quarter-life crisis**.  Though since it's unlikely I'll live into my 90's***, maybe 1/3 of life crisis isn't right either****.

Whatever it is, it is likely to be a painful process from which I will (hopefully) emerge as a more complete and capable person.  First time for everything. Like getting teeth and gaining the ability to bite and chew. In case anyone didn't get the connection that was obvious to me in my head.


*Sara isn't breastfeeding directly from the breast, as we all know, but the principle is the same.  In my opinion.

**I survived the quarterlife crisis, with a lot of style, from ages 24 through 27.  And when I say style, I might mean cliche.  Though, I wouldn't be fair to myself to call my mid-20's a cliche, since I started using quarterlife crisis to describe myself long before it became a pop culture phenomenon.  I defined it as an Indian Summer of adolescence in combination with early onset mid-life crisis and for a long time honestly thought I'd made up the term myself.  I guess the same definition could apply to 1/3 of life crisis.

***Very unlikely, considering certain lifestyle choices.  Really must stop modelling my life after Hunter S. Thompson (minus narcotics and firearms).  Perhaps Charles Bukowski is more apt.  Not that I'm modelling my life after anyone on purpose.  And not that I'll ever produce a Ham on Rye.  Lack of talent and lack of initiative.  What a dismal combination.

****Though as far as that goes, quarterlife crisis isn't an accurate way to describe any experience around age 25, unless living to 100 is status quo, which it isn't.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Breaking Up

Whiskey, we're through.

I know everyone has their ups and downs.  I've gone long periods with conflicted feelings for you.  There are times when I've been convinced it would be best just to call it a day.  We've also had some really good times that I will fondly remember.  But I'm starting to think that you are a destructive influence in my life.  So it's time to move on.

And when I say "destructive influence", please don't take it the wrong way.  It's not that there's anything wrong with you.  One woman's destructive influence can be another's true love.  You've got a lot going for you and I'm sure you'll find someone new. 

It's just that I'm not confident that we're right for each other.

Please don't be angry.  It's not that I don't love you anymore.  This is hard for me, too.

I'm sorry.

Although, maybe I shouldn't shouldn't say "it's over" with such decisiveness.  "Starting to think" you are a destructive influence and "not being confident" that we're right for each other are hardly the words of a person who's 100% behind their decision.  So I guess what I really mean is I don't think we should see each other for awhile.  Take some time apart to seriously consider what we want out of life.  You know?